Baby Blues

Rocky and I have been trying to start a family and I have to say that it has been harder then I thought. I thought once I stopped taking the birth control I will get pregnant in a few months...well...wrong. It has been 8 months and nothing yet. I know that you are thinking...that is not a long time at all, but there are other issues now. Now that I have Lupus everything is different. I am on so many medications and treatments that the doctors don't even want me to get pregnant for another year or longer. The medicine I am on right now can still be taking through my pregnancy, but they say "A healthy mom, makes a healthy baby" which I can understand...I guess.

Now that I have Lupus I am finding out that it can cause problems with getting pregnant and I am worried about that. It can cause early menopause and ovulation failure and with my history of issues it might be a problem I've had for a while. Since being diagnoses everything that has happened to me in the past now makes sense and I am worried that I have always had problems and now we can fix it.

I know I am just being impatient, but I have waited so long for this and now I have doctors telling me to wait a year or longer. That means I am going to being 30 when I have my first child and I always said I wanted the first one before then. It seems like everyone around me is pregnant and I have to put on a happy face, while I am dying inside. I am tired of being sick and I don't know if I could handle waiting another 2 years or god forbid not being able to have children of my own.

Well....before I get too ahead of myself, I have a doctors appt tomorrow morning and I am going to demand answers. Lets hope for the best!!!